ugliness

i could get myself in big trouble here, but i have decided to rant about my brother-in-law. now this confirms i won't be telling any of my family about my (not-very-active-anyway) blog. first, i should clarify: i have 2 brothers-in-law (and 2 sisters), and one of them is lovely. he's kind, funny, friendly. the other, however, irritates me to the core.

some backstory: he (from now on "he" will refer to the disliked bro-in-law, and "she" to my sis, his wife) is a supposedly very smart (genius?) guy, who was in the computer industry in the bay area until the dotcom bust. at that point, he decided to go back to school and get his master's degree in programming, and at this stage met my sister. she was in pharmacy school, and was dating after suffering a painful divorce.

okay, here are a few of my beefs with him. excuse me if i sound bitchy!
1) he is clinically depressed- not that i don't sympathize (with the mentally ill), but from the beginning it was a red flag. i know, because i used to date a depressed guy i'll call RT. it was exhausting! it was a continual process of trying to get RT to get excited about something, or want to get out and do something, and RT's general mood was just always a little lowered. and that was when RT was medicated. frequently, however, RT would either try to quit his meds altogether, or switch to new ones, and so RT was all over the place. well, my sister has had a similar experience with her husband.
2) he has not worked full-time since before she met him. he went from wanting to get his master's to getting his phd, and he still has a few years to go. she is the primary bread-winner, working full-time as a pharmacist.
3) he has no social skills. like, literally. he has to go retreat to another room frequently when he's visiting our family, or if there are any children around.
4) he was an only child, so he has a sort of expectation that he will get his way in any disputes (and, unfortunately, my sister is a people-pleaser, and gives in)
5) he is arrogant and condescending. for instance: he will not let us offer help, like, in the best way to drive to our new house. and he wouldn't allow my sister to get directions from me either.
6) he seems to believe that because he is so smart, that is all he has to contribute to the relationship. nearly everything else, she handles. most chores. the cooking. if they have a child she would have to basically do it single-handedly. all on top of being the only one working!!!!!
7) he's so ignorant. he has said some of the most annoying things i've ever heard from an "intellectual."
for instance, he was in our living room talking with my dad, and i overheard him say "when gina and i have a child we won't have all these babyproofing things (a lock on the media cabinet and bumpers around the coffee table). i don't like the look of them."
oh. my. god. as if WE have them because we do!!!!!!
and i suppose he'd prefer the look of his child's head bashed in from a fall against the sharp corners of the coffee table!!!!!!
8) my sister is overweight, but still very cute. he is truly ugly. no joke. he has no chin, sallow skin with circles under his eyes, baaaddd facial hair and he has about 70 pounds he could lose. yet, because she has a weight problem, he makes like he's the cute one! he's even as much as said so to us! he does things that i think are passive-aggressive to make her feel unattractive, like sits in HER lap frequently.

i feel very evil ranting about him, but i just hope to get the venom out of my system. you may wonder why she is even with him, as do we all, and i'd say obviously she thinks she can do no better. but she is so wrong!